Lock Me Up & Toss The Key!

Originally, this post was going to be dedicated to JERICHO (The Jinn Cycle, book 1) by Nini Church. It’s a paranormal romance with centuries-old warriors, a loyal (and somewhat dysfunctional) brotherhood, and destiny. Go forth and enjoy!

Me? I’m going to hang my head in shame.

I’ve been all “RAH! RAH! RAH! The flu can kiss my butt because I’m gonna post THREE reviews before Sunday!”…ha.

At the first opportunity, my plans were thwarted by “window shopping” on Goodreads. Ugh! I should totally know better, but it’s kinda like crack. Thankfully, it’s less harmful despite being more addictive. Spent an hour on there and I simply Could. Not. Resist. Valentina Heart’s PENAL STATION 05. Partially because I’ve been browsing for m/m romance and partly because it reminded me of HOLD by Claire Kent.

So…I’m gonna review both! #Luckyyou ❤

What you need to know before I get down and dirty into the review:

As implied by the title of the post (and the book titles!), the characters are confined. Locked up. In prison. The key has pretty much been thrown away. As we all know, it’s not innocent Pollyanna-type folks who call such institutions home. Put a bunch of baddies together behind bars and bad things happen. Put a bunch of baddies behind bars and then leave them unsupervised? yeah…depraved things happen.

There are RAPE and ABUSE triggers in these novels. If you are sensitive to such content, don’t bother with these books! Although the main characters are NOT raped in the current timelines, there is no escaping the constant risk of rape in such a setting.

I’m gonna put this out there for you, and then get on with the review: the main characters are given a choice in these two books. Are there great options? Um, no. They’re in prison. They’re faced with terrible situations and make the decision to survive. It’s not pretty or civilized, but both books do end HEA.

I’ll start off with PENAL STATION 05

Jared, a guard on one of the many penal space stations, is good at his job, but painfully naive. Getting convicted for a crime he didn’t commit and being sentenced to a life in prison did not feature in his vision of the future. When he gets rescued, then promptly claimed as property by Sar, the most dangerous and biggest man on the penal station, he’s just about ready to gracefully faint.

But Sar is apparently a genius with a hidden face and big expectations. Sar wants Jared to learn to fight, he expects Jared to serve his sexual needs, and to socialize with Sar’s friends. So while Jared works on his stances and apparently can’t get enough of sex, he still has trouble cheerfully conversing with the same men who would rather kill him or claim him for their own.

All of that changes with new arrivals, a kidnapping, and secret agendas. Will Jared survive torture and is Sar bad and mad enough to rescue him, or are they more likely to perish when the clock ticks off and the station blinks out with the sound of an explosion?

Let me condense it even more than the blurb: young and naive Jared, a Penal Station Guard, is wrongfully blamed, and then convicted, for a riot at his previous post; he’s shipped to the 9th circle of Hell, otherwise known as Station 05. Scooped up by Sar, Jared becomes property of the enigmatic and imposing prisoner. A bunch of bonding moments happen. Sex. A bit of sideplot about why Jared was convicted for a crime he didn’t commit. More sex. Big boom. Sex. HEA.

Sounds fucking awesome, amiright? There’s mystery, drama, romance, adventure, action, and politics (O.o) It’s not a book, it’s a buffet!

But even better than the plethora of sub-genres was the quality of writing. Valentina Heart mastered pace, plot, setting, atmosphere, and characterization. A rare find in erotica–especially in M/M erotica, where editing can sometimes be sketchy! 

**fangirls all over myself**

Sexy Snippet:

“Please, too much… Please, Sar, more…” Jared begged.

The pleas only kindled Sar’s fire, his enthusiasm splitting his damaged lip, but none of it mattered. His world only contained his pleasure and the object of his complete focus.

Heart, Valentina (2016-02-03). Penal Station 05 (With This Mark Book 1) (Kindle Locations 3043-3045). Loose Id LLC. Kindle Edition.

That’s a delicious manwhich right there 😉

My Rating: rough, raw, and surprisingly sweet

PENAL STATION 05

 

Next up, HOLD

 

Find the strongest man there. Give yourself to him in return for protection. It’s the only way you’ll ever survive.

Convicted of a minor crime, Riana is sentenced to a prison planet—a dark primitive hold filled with convicts vying for power. Her only chance of survival is with Cain, a mysterious loner who has won his territory in the prison through intelligence and brute strength. Sex is all she has to offer, so she uses it. She’s under no delusions here. No one is ever released, and no one ever escapes. Survival is all she can hope for—until Cain.

Sound familiar? It is a lot like PENAL STATION 05, but it’s less harsh, more whimsical…though that’s not *exactly* the right word. It’s still dark. There’s still danger. However, there’s an element of magic, and this reads more like a romance than Heart’s m/m version.

That’s not to say that these two books are exactly alike–they’re not. Riana is more worldly and self-aware than Jared, and she’s not faced with a wrongful conviction; a stupid conviction, yes, but not a wrongful one. Also, there are guards in this prison and no crazy kidnapping subplots.

In both novels, the “hero” is a longtime inmate who is stoic and strong, but with enough humanity left to feel compassion and love. In HOLD, Cain is the hero, and he’s a mystery with a side of mystery–we get almost no input from him for 98% of the novel except for when he’s fucking Riana…and yet, somehow, you still finish feeling as though the pair is well matched. He showed his emotions through action. He cared for her, even if it was mostly nonverbal. As a reader, that was more powerful than endless, poetic monologues.

And the sex! Gah, it’s yum. There are elements of forced exhibitionism, because there are open bars instead of walls, which adds spice for people who like a little kink, and there are tons of orgasms. Seriously, Riana is one lucky bitch. That or else Cain’s cock is magical.

Cute/Sexy Snippet:

“You’re acting weird,” she told him, playing idly with one his nipples.

He gave a soft grunt. “I’m not sure, but I think today might be my birthday.”

“Really?” She grinned down at him— although it was a silly thing to be excited about, given their circumstances. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-six today. If I’ve kept track of the days right since I got here.”

She chuckled and stroked her hand up his chest to his neck. And then she caressed the stubbly skin of his jaw— enjoying the rough texture of it. “Getting kind of old, aren’t you?”

He just smiled at her teasing. A real smile. The one she hardly ever saw.

Pleased with her success, she leaned down to press a soft kiss just next to his mouth. “Happy birthday,” she murmured huskily. “Shall I give you a present?” Cain gently pushed the hair back from her face as she mouthed a trail along his jaw. “What did you have in mind?”

Kent, Claire (2015-02-20). Hold (pp. 97-98). . Kindle Edition.

Hmmm…I wonder what kind of present she can give him while they’re locked up? 😉

My Rating: exciting and passionate

HOLD

** I’ve got one more review this week and then I’ll finally have my tbr pile under control! Look for it on Sunday 🙂 **

 

Fletcher, Smith, and Dixon walk into a bar…

…and joke’s on you, because there are no bars in space.

🙂

I promised (a long, loooong time ago–gah! sorry for allowing so much dust to gather between posts) that my next review would be about aliens. Sexy aliens.

I’m pretty sure one or two people read “sexy aliens” and simply closed out of this blog. See ya later, Crazy Pants! they think, not wanting to explore something so…out of this world? (I’m hanging my head, but I’m laughing, too. I couldn’t help myself.)

Whelp, those of y’all who stuck around are in for a treat! I’m bringing a few reviews your way today, all with varying degrees of YUM and WTF. Prepare your…bookshelf. (what? did your naughty brain jump to probes? Tsk tsk.)

 

First in the lineup: Penelope Fletcher’s VENONMOUS

Abducted from Earth and transported to a slave planet in an unknown galaxy, Lumen finds herself, shackled, naked and put on display before an alien horde. Told the males will battle for the right to slake their lusts with her body, she would become the slave of slaves. Venomous One, a proud warrior enslaved, has given up hope of returning to his home world and finding a life mate. When a female is tossed into the arena his soul demands he claim her. Winning his mate by Right of Might, he vows to protect Lumen and be a good provider, no matter how ugly her human appearance. Rescued by Venomous’ people, the couple face space pirates, the condemnation of an alien government, galactic war, and a deadlier threat from within the warrior’s own kindred.

…dude.

Aliens. Abduction. Slave market. Sex slave. Slave of slaves. YEESH! And that’s without adding in the life mates, space pirates, or galactic war. Sounds like a whole lot of OMG WTF, amiright?

A lot of erotic novels have shitty worlds. If there’s an element of fantasy, it’s a prop to make writing the book easier for the author. Take paranormal romance, for example: werewolves have mates and that’s all you need to know…BAM! Now they love each other and want to rip their clothes off in a plethora of places. You get the bang for your buck, but no substance.

Penelope Fletcher went above and beyond to avoid ^ that type of novel. Yes, there’s a TON of stuff that happens…but no, it’s not cat-lady crazy. Ms. Fletcher crafted a beautiful world–universe!–and her characters are fleshed out with the same attention to detail. It’s not perfect, and the sequel isn’t out (don’t even get me started on that, btw), but the gooey romantic bits are exactly what they should be.

…speaking of which, be prepared for a m/f/m/m situation. Miss Luman of the Stars ends up attracting several life mates…which means the sex is interesting. It’s not what I think about when I’ve got fresh batteries and an itch, but it’s just as entertaining as the rest of the novel. There was one memorable scene when blow jobs are explained…and demonstrated. Mmmhmm (maybe I take it back about when I put those batteries to use). There are several other noteworthy shenanigans. And who knows? Maybe public (think: alien marriage ceremony) sex is your thing. You’ll never know unless you read it…;)

I decided to review this novel for my readers because it’s different. Exciting. A lot happens and none of it is predictable–which is hard to find in romance and erotica! However, there are triggers for some readers.

At the mention of slaves & sex slaves, hopefully y’all experienced a jolt of wariness. In those situations, consent doesn’t normally come into play. Add in aliens and the situations get more complicated. This is a HUGE deal; I don’t like rape books (some women enjoy that kind of titillation in their romance, but it’s not for me). For me to have this book on my blog…it’s a testament to how the ordeal is handled.

Is there rape? YES. I can’t reiterate enough: YES, YES, YES. The H had no idea he was raping the h, but she was very much experiencing a violation. Is it handled carefully, without nightmarish detail, in a way that eventually allows for healing? YES. But please be aware that not all characters in this book experience a HEA.

This was not a fluffy read. You don’t cozy up and spend a grand total of 45 minutes bulldozing through VENOMOUS in order to dredge up enough enthusiasm to pounce on your partner. Emotions get pulled out (*tips hat to Ms. Fletcher*). The world/universe sucks you in. Readers will be invested.

My rating: exciting adventure with unexpected but sweet menage relationship

VENOMOUS

 

Next on the list: S. E. Smith’s HUNTER’S CLAIM

If you read a decent amount of erotic fantasy, chances are that you’ve come across Ms. Smith’s work. She has several series out, but I’m going to focus on her ALLIANCE novels.

 

Jesse Sampson and her two younger sisters have lived a hard life on the streets of Seattle, Washington for the past several years.

Four years before, the Earth received its first visitors from space causing mass fear.

Alone in a world gone mad with just her sisters, she has learned to use the darkness and the remains of the city to survive and keep what was left of her family alive. She has seen the savage side of human nature and finds they are not much different from the aliens who conquered Earth.

The Trivators have taken control of Earth to prevent the humans from destroying it in their fear.

A world of warriors, they are sent out by the Alliance of Star Systems to seek out new worlds. Their mission is first contact. They are to establish communications with the leaders of the new worlds they find and bring them into the Alliance.

Any resistance is to be quickly subdued to prevent unnecessary death of the inhabitants of the new worlds they find. Their payment comes from the success of their mission.

Hunter is what he is called. A hunter, one of the elite clans of the Trivators who seek out those who resist. His abilities to track, capture and eliminate those who try to harm any warrior is renowned.

He finds the tables turned when he becomes the one captured by a group of ruthless humans. Hunter is shocked when a strange human female risks her life to help him escape only to disappear into the ruins of the city.

He now has a new mission, finding the female who saved his life. He is determined to find her before she is damaged by others of her kind.

What he finds is a reward beyond comprehension to a Trivator warrior, a family.

Can he convince Jesse that he can give her and her younger sisters a better life on his world? Or will fear keep her from accepting what he has to offer?

Yes, the blurb is more like a novel than a blurb, but it’s good, right!?

S. E. Smith is a solid writer. She doesn’t go grand, really, but she gives her audience a good book with a good plot. Her characters (the ladies, in particular) aren’t the strongest I’ve come across, but they are likable. Le gasp. I’m totally not selling this series the way you expected–I bet you’re wondering why I’m reviewing these without my normal OH EM GEE enthusiasm…but the truth is, sometimes we all need the easy-to-read erotic romance that makes us sigh/smile/moan without us having to think too much. 

Does that mean these books are boring? NO! Not at all! Any S. E. Smith will pass muster and be worth the money you spend–the plot/characters/worlds are unique and well-written. And there’s sex. (kinda the whole point of my blog, right?)

Although the intimate scenes aren’t in-your-face, they are detailed enough to thoroughly finish the job. Ahem.

So my verdict? These are fun, lighter reads. There’s a plot and romance and sex, but it’s not gonna take a lot of brain power to keep up with what’s happening.

My rating: satisfying and sexy

HUNTER’S CLAIM

 

Last but not least: Ruby Dixon’s ICE PLANET BARBARIANS

 

You’d think being abducted by aliens would be the worst thing that could happen to me. And you’d be wrong. Because now, the aliens are having ship trouble, and they’ve left their cargo of human women – including me – on an ice planet.

And the only native inhabitant I’ve met? He’s big, horned, blue, and really, really has a thing for me…

Hee hee hee…that title. That cover!

*falls over laughing*

The blue guy is, obviously, the barbarian. And yes, the entire novel is ridiculous and hilarious and chock-full (cock-full?) of sex.

Want something fun and light and easy to read? This is your book. The aliens are BLUE! And have HORNS! And TAILS! …but the universe is magnanimous and the barbarians’ penises aren’t too weird to stir up trouble. Imagine that.

I bought all of these and chortle happily when indulging in them. They do exactly what they were written to do: amuse and arouse. Who knew that big, furry smurfs were my thing?! LOLZ

My rating: fun, sexy, and exciting

ICE PLANET BARBARIANS